Ok, first of all, what options do you have?
For most women the options are breastfeeding, formula feeding or a bit of both. Social media has proven useful for allowing mothers to make informal arrangements with other women for donor milk using initiatives like HM4HB/Human Milk for Human Babies (you can find their UK Facebook page here) but this isn’t a viable alternative for most women as yet.
Donor milk is also available from official milk banks located throughout the UK supported by the UKAMB (UK Association for Milk Banking) but it is mostly used for babies in special circumstances, like premature babies or those recovering from gut surgery.
When women are unsure if they will breastfeed/continue to breastfeed I often remind them that as long as they are still breastfeeding, they still have a choice. It’s true that some women can and do relactate after periods of not breastfeeding but this is not an easy option. Not breastfeeding thinking that you might relactate is the equivalent of a man having a vasectomy knowing that he might have it reversed soon to have more children!
So if you think you might breastfeed, prepare yourself. Have the necessary information and support you need to get breastfeeding off to a good start so you have a real choice, because then breastfeeding can be a comfortable, viable option for you. Have a look at my article on the Visit From The Stork website for suggestions about how best to prepare yourself for breastfeeding.
There is no need to make your decision until your baby arrives and even then you’re only deciding on that first feed, each subsequent feed is also a choice for you to make. It can be really helpful to focus on the present moment like this, no pressure to reach a goal, just you and your baby and what feels right for your family right now.
When seen in this way breastfeeding is far from being a huge commitment. Every drop of breastmilk your baby drinks is advantageous.
For lots of women their breastfeeding journey goes just like this, getting through each day getting to know and feeding their baby and not even thinking about when/if they should stop until someone else brings it up. You can breastfeed for as long as it works for you and your family.
I call this right-brain mothering, when you are coping with life with your young baby task by task, moment by moment. There are some who would say this mother needs a routine, I say this mother needs a pat on the back and told what a great job she’s doing!
